


Good Intentions

by Chia_P



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Bullying, Gen, Humiliation, Situational Humiliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:36:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chia_P/pseuds/Chia_P
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing good that Shu tries to do ever seems to work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Intentions

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanons for Shu's past and why he is the way he is are so awful. Please love him. ;w; 
> 
> The current ice cream scout made me need to write this. I'm out of town and wrote it on my phone. It's unbeta'd. Forgive me. 
> 
> (Non-graphic description of unfortunate digestive issues ahead.)

There was a method to what some might consider his madness-a logical reason behind everything he did. He absolutely never wanted to talk about the experiences that drove him to say and do the things for which he was judged on a daily basis. Explaining them would take too much time and way too much vulnerability, so Shu Itsuki just let them judge without knowing him. 

There were days when it was much harder to deal with them and what they thought about him. When his good intentions seemed to pave his road to Hell, upset was never a strong enough word to describe how he felt. Guilt would tie his stomach in knots, and he would question everything all over again. That was exactly what he started doing when he heard that Mika Kagehira had collapsed at school. He always told the black haired boy never to accept food from strangers, but he hated himself for not being mindful enough of his underclassman's condition to properly take care of him. Mika constantly forgot to eat, and Shu, though he tried as hard as he could, was not always able to be there. It seemed like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, Mika needed to eat and could use all the help he could get. On the other hand, people were not always so helpful. Shu knew that fact all too well. 

In elementary school, his much tougher friend, Kuro Kiryu had his back and protected him more than he'd like to admit. When they went to different middle schools, things began to go downhill for the pink haired boy. He was still quite small and not very strong, which made him an easy target. On top of that, he was teased relentlessly for his interest in dolls and sewing. All sorts of slurs were hurled his way, and when his schoolmates weren't bullying him, they were keeping their distance. 

He couldn't go to his parents. They were wrapped up in their own problems, with financial issues cropping up. Also, as the third and unexpected child, he came at a time when his parents were quite done with the whole parenting thing. When they weren't scolding him for not living up to their expectations when it came to the activities in which little boys should be participating, they were largely leaving him to his own devices. His brother and sister were nine and seven years older than him respectively, and neither of them wanted to deal with him either. He knew his sister only passed down some of her dolls to him because she was in a rebellious phase at the age of fifteen and wanted to piss her parents off as much as possible. Encouraging the parts of her little brother that her parents disliked the most seemed like a good way to not only upset them but to also draw the attention away from her as they chastised him.

With Kuro and Mrs. Kiryu gone, there had been no one who he felt genuinely liked him. It was sad to say that he was getting used to constantly getting left out of things. However, when a student who had recently transferred to his class from a school in Tokushima offered him a few of the cookies she'd baked for the class, not only could he not resist, but he felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe there would finally be someone in his school who was kind to him or at least cordial. 

Half an hour after eating the cookie she had offered him at lunch, he began to feel sick. Pains began slicing through his abdomen, and he bent over his desk, almost laying his head on its surface. 

"Mr. Itsuki, are you paying attention?" His teacher asked with irritation evident in her tone. Mrs. Ishikawa, his Japanese literature instructor, was quite strict and had no patience for students slacking in her class. 

"Y-yes ma'am," he replied. He didn't know why he couldn't just tell her that he wasn't feeling well. It was probably a mix of knowing she almost never let students leave her class and the fact that no one would come to get him if he did need to go home. He thought it was better to try to keep up with his class if he could. 

It was becoming increasingly harder to pay attention as the pain moved lower in his abdomen. Panic washed over him as he realized his predicament. As much as he hated to, he had to speak up. He raised his hand. 

"Yes, Mr. Itsuki?" His teacher intoned. 

"M-may I please go to the restroom?"

"You had plenty of time to go at lunch. Surely it can wait until after class."

Shu's face grew red with embarrassment. He couldn't look her in the eye as he mumbled, "I don't think I can."

"What was that? Don't mumble." Her displeasure reached him with every word. 

He raised his voice slightly. "I-I don't think I can."

"Well, you're not a small child anymore, so I expect you to try harder."

"Yes, ma'am." He did his best not to gasp at the mounting pain and pressure. He began to wonder what he should do. He would not make it through the forty-five minutes left of her class without incident. Just then, his body made the decision for him. Not wanting to humiliate himself in class, he got up and ran out. When he didn't make it to the restroom in time, he kept running. Shu was very glad that he kept his house keys in his pocket. He was not going back for his bag. 

He made his way to his house as quickly as he could. He had to stop due to being doubled up in pain more than a few times. When he greeted his empty house, he immediately made his way to the shower to wash off. Then, he began to panic over what he should do with his ruined clothes. Trash day wasn't for a couple more days. He doubted he could place them with the trash that couldn't be burned without someone noticing. 

He was right, and the scolding he received still made him cringe years later. He was scolded and teased relentlessly at school. He saw a flash of guild on the girl's face the next day in school. He found out that she had done the cruel prank of putting chocolate laxatives in the cookies she gave to him in order to make friends more quickly. Some of the girls in their class had put her up to it. 

That was one story he planned to take to the grave. When he got closer to Mika, he worried that someone might do something like that to the dark haired boy. Some people at their school fought dirty. They didn't usually go that far, but Mika was so trusting towards everyone early on that Shu worried that it would make him vulnerable. The pink-haired boy knew what it was like to be thought of as weird and labeled as an oddball, and he worried that Mika's eccentricities might be enough to make him a target. Shu felt guilty that his own worries had caused Mika to grow more paranoid. He felt like there was no best answer, and he personally chose to be anxious rather than keep walking into bad situations. That still didn't help when Valkyrie had their sabotaged performance, but he couldn't anticipate everything, try as he might. 

At this point, Mika was suffering all thanks to Shu's good intentions going awry again. Sometimes, he wondered why the other boy staid and remained so devoted to him. Surely his faults outweighed anything nice he had done. Mika was often the one who ended up taking care of him when his anxiety was unbearable. Shu was also more used to insults than affection, and they fell out of his mouth so often. He tried not to be that way, but the process of improving was slow going for him. Shu's defenses were still confusing to even him. He just wanted to be safe without being poisonous. As he made his way to the infirmary as fast as his legs could take him, he wondered if he'd ever get it right.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I will write EnStars fics about more than Shu's body betraying him. OTL
> 
> I have an acquaintance who trained her service dog to never accept food from anyone other than her without her permission, since her uncle had dogs die from a neighbor feeding them poisoned meat. Mika isn't a dog, but I imagine Shu is constantly worried about him. (Shu is the helicopter parent that he never had.)
> 
> Edit: I created a twitter specifically for EnStars trash. Please chat with me @usanazunii I'd love to hear about your headcanons, OTPs, and best boys. It might inspire me to write something!


End file.
